of course I'll never say this to your face because I'm moderately ashamed of myself for feeling this

but i find your persistent embrace of your own victimhood more than mildly disgusting.

sadness and pain and all sorts of bad things leak from your pores, the bad stuff keeps coming back to you because it never gets round to actually leaving. and you won't let it.

maybe it's becuase i think it's something that you should be ashamed of, but you wallow in it for all to see and create circles of misery-loving cronies. perhaps my disgust is of the sort brought out by people having a really good nose picking expedition in a public place. the imposition on others of unseemly behaviour. but this has the added element of spreading unkindness.

and it's not that you're a bad or unkind person yourself, far from it, i really do know. the blows that you've been dealt and not healed over, the fights that weren't resolved, the people who pissed on you, rage and frustration borne out of good intentions thwarted -- i get it, i see where all this came from.

but not only do you try to make me think badly of people when you know well how much effort i make to think well of people, you then make me fell bad about disagreeing with you because it all lives in this weird sense of disgust.

and none of it is actually your fault. bastard.