gnaaaaaaah

(that doesn't actually feel better, but who knows, placebo effect may kick in soon.)

the worst things about the state i'm in is that: a) it was predictable; b) it was preventable; c) i promised, promised, promised myself that i wasn't going to go through this sort of nonsense again.

i should have known, i did know, and i've made a fucking mess of things.

and that's all the detail i'll be putting down about this. i'm positive that i'm being melodramatic about the whole thing, that it is fixable and probably a positive and constructive thing all in all.

i need to move on with things. as soon as i can stop shaking and trying to kick myself simultaneously.