i am very very serious about quality performances indicators in the higher education sector.

oh, and i wish to complain about "The Ugly Duckling".

a) i object to the notion that somehow swans are better than ducks. ducks are marvellous. i can only imagine that it is British monarchy propoganda (propagander) put about to indoctrinate children with the idea that swans are better just because the Queen owns them and hence to accept the idea that she is the Big Cheese and they are just peasant scum. lady, you can keep your swans AND your cheese, i'll make way for ducklings everytime.

b) i think it's tremendously convenient that the swan parents buggered off somewhere (probably to go and inbreed or oppress people) to leave their egg with (as far as i remember) a single mother duck with a bunch of other dependents. i remember a version of the story where the parents actually came back to claim their "ugly duckling", and i recall no thanks given to the hard working mother duck who'd had to look after the interloping juvenile.

c) okay, so the poor wee swan got teased. that's not nice. in my knowledge of the animal kingdom, it's fairly common for young birds to peck their siblings to death, push them out of nests, or try to starve them. foreign infants are more generally pecked to death by the adult (cuckoos being a notable exception). the ducks hatched the egg, and fed the little swan (and i've never heard report of pecking). get some fucking perspective.