dear stupid no-penis man in crappy smelly car

i thought i was on to a good thing, recently have been listening to music very terribly loudly on my way to and from buses and trains, because people yelling at me from their crappy ugly cars puts the tiniest bit of tarnish on my day by reminding me that the world is ugly and full of people who should be eliminated from the gene pool and simply replaced with orangutans because people like orangutans and i doubt that even your mother likes you. (her predilection for the most degenerate and inbred specimens of the animal kingdom to produce her ill-gotten spawn is something i shan't go into as i've never met her, she could be a perfectly nice person despite allowing some of her vile womb-excrement to roam the streets of suburbia).

even if your flatulent exhaust hadn't drawn my attention, you did that hilarious thing where you were swerving to hit me. sorry if i spoiled your joke by not flinching but a) my reflexes aren't great at the best of times and b) if i flinched everytime somebody did that i would have a nervous tic by now.

and some random abuse (along the lines of "dumb fucking slut") as you drove off. apart from wanting to challenge your statement with my total lack of sex life as well as beating your sorry arse at Trivial Pursuit til you cry like a little girl, i'd like to thank you for that. i've always been a cheery fence-sitting agnostic, but now i really think i need to find some deity or over-riding principle of the universe just so i can hope that they sort out some kind of poetic justice for you.

because if you leave it to what i was thinking as you drove off, it is going to be a rough night on you.

much love

jane.

oh, and my recent theory on boys in cars. one of my friends was teaching at a boys school, and told me how funny it was to see all these boys constantly touching each other, but being desperately homophobic at the same time. i see bunches of boys squished into crappy cars, very intimate situation. it does give me some entertainment to think that they are sticking their heads out of the windows and yelling things at pedestrians to let off steam and divert sexual tension. whenever it bothers me i do get to think to myself "oh, just have an orgy and get it over with".